AARBAA BATTLE REPORTS

Updates from the front lines of our fight against road cyclist entitlement

March 22, 2025

THE GREAT SPANDEX CENSUS

72 hours of surveillance documenting 1,247 red lights run, 892 stop signs ignored, and irrefutable proof of cyclist lawlessness...

March 20, 2025

OPERATION COFFEE SHOP LIBERATION

How we peacefully reclaimed our local coffee shops from the spandex occupation forces and their $10,000 carbon fiber obstacles...

March 18, 2025

VICTORY AT OAK STREET

500 patriots saved their parking spaces and defeated a $3.2 million bike lane boondoggle. Democracy wins, cyclists lose...

March 15, 2025

AARBAA Unleashes CHAOS at City Council

Our 75-strong AARBAA battalion arrived wearing matching crimson "ROADS ARE FOR CARS" t-shirts, strategically positioned to surround the cycling advocates...

February 28, 2025

LEGISLATIVE WARFARE: Bill 477 DEMOLISHES Cyclist Entitlement

As Bill 477 passed, the cyclist lobby unleashed a tantrum so epic it could only be described as performance art. Picture grown adults in skin-tight lycra...

March 8, 2025

CIVILIZATION 101: Teaching Cyclists Human Decency

Imagine our surprise when we discovered that explaining basic road courtesy was equivalent to teaching quantum mechanics to a goldfish...

March 1, 2025

STRATEGIC VICTORY: Downtown Bike Lane Proposal CRUSHED

The proposed 12-mile bike lane network was reduced to a much more sensible 2-mile connector between existing paths, saving taxpayers millions...

February 15, 2025

OPERATION RUSH HOUR: Exposing Cyclist Traffic Violations

Our surveillance team documented an astounding 247 traffic violations by cyclists in just one hour at the Jefferson and Main intersection...

January 25, 2025

MEMBERSHIP MILESTONE: AARBAA Reaches 15,000 Members

What started as a small Facebook group of frustrated drivers has exploded into a nationwide movement with chapters in 47 states...

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